What a year 2020 has been! How has this year been for you and your family? I pray that as you're reading this, that you are well and have or are finding your feet from the shaking of a year that it has been.
The last couple of weeks has been an internal battle if I can be honest with you. It is almost as if everything came to a head and it left me feeling unsure and uncertain, I felt clouded and confused. The best way I can describe it, is when you're sure you're on the right path and then something happens and now you're not so sure. Yes, that has been where I have been.
One morning a few weeks ago as I was about to leave home to do an early grocery shop (6:30am early to be exact, for the record I don't usually do my grocery shopping that early lol), I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to stop by the lake and go for a walk around it. I didn't think twice and thought that would be a lovely idea to go for a walk before doing my groceries. Little did I know that He was about to speak to me in a very profound way.
I began my walk around the lake, and one thing that really stood out to me was the water. It was so... STILL. For the times I have walked around the lake, I don't remember seeing the water so still. I guess it makes sense as it was early in the morning.
As I was walking, I couldn't help but be so drawn to the water and I kept staring at the water in awe of how still it was. There was no movement... not a single ripple... Absolute stillness...
Towards the end of the lake, as I was about to finish my walk I was literally stopped in my tracks. I looked at the water and realised that I could actually see all the way to the bottom of the lake! You may be thinking, "well Marianne, what is the big deal?". It was a big deal because I have never seen the bottom of the lake before. The water was CRYSTAL CLEAR! Not crystal clear in the way you may be picturing because the water at the lake is murky, it's brown and quite cloudy but at that moment, it was so clear. I could literally see the bottom of the lake.
And then Holy Spirit spoke straight to my heart. He said "You, my Daughter have been clouded, confused, unsure and uncertain because you have not been STILL enough. When you are still, you will see straight through this and it will all make sense. It will become CRYSTAL CLEAR". The words 'crystal clear' kept echoing in my heart.
THERE IT WAS! I bursted into tears, standing on the edge of the lake nodding my head in pure agreement. He was right! My mind and my heart was so clouded and I couldn't see straight for the life of me. I didn't realise it until that point. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and an outpouring of the Father's love cover me. He had to take me around the lake to capture my attention, to speak straight to the core of my heart.
I guess in the craziness of this year, with the plans that I was unknowingly still holding onto, sudden changes that have occurred in my personal life, the crossroad of some decisions I need to make in my business, and really the overall weight of 2020, I felt as if I couldn't make sense of ANYTHING. Nothing made sense! I had spiritually been in 'FLIGHT OR FLIGHT' mode for majority of the year. I was tired and slowly burning out.
I have had moments of being still through out this year but truth be told that morning, I realised I hadn't been STILL ENOUGH. I hadn't been still LONG ENOUGH for everything to settle. I hadn't surrendered a lot of things.
It clicked to me then, what this sentence meant "She finds FREEDOM in her SURRENDER". I had heard this in my spirit a month before that moment at the lake. And in that moment, where it felt like it was just me and the Father, I knew what it truly meant. I needed to surrender afresh, surrender everything back to the Father again.
Needless to say, I had breakthrough in that moment at the lake and I took that word to heart. I began slowing down to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD (Psalm 46:10)...
True to His word, I am experiencing clarity and I am slowly beginning to see things clearly for the first time in what feels like months!!!
I don't know if this speaks to you in this season. When was the last time you took the time to be still? Like, really still. Still like the water at the lake. If you can't remember, can I encourage you to do the same? Take some time out too, to 'Be still and know that HE is God'. Take as long as you need. Be still enough, for long enough. Find freedom in your surrender, knowing that He has you in the palm of His hand and that He will bring peace to your heart and clarity to any situation you may be facing right now.
I pray this encourages you as much as it has me.
Much love and blessings, Marianne x